You are disruptive in presence, your very being seems to challenge the idea of what is possible in any given moment, there is an air to you, and your strange ways that seem to float above the grid most are tethered to.
Your thoughts may feel or seem upside down at times, for you are artistically floating through the uncanniest webs of existence and can pull from anything and anywhere with pristine cogency, distilling insanity for its oodles of wisdom.
You are unafraid to temporarily forego security as you trust that growth is not supposed to feel safe and comfortable, it is a thrill ride and the moments that scare you the most are the ones that bring you the greatest wonder.
You find beauty, humor, and inspiration in what may be horrifying circumstances, and this helps you to release from them much easier. You are not intimidated by the unknown but instead enlivened by it and all that it may deliver to you, seeing it as a merry-go-round of fascination and mystique.
You can see deeply into the structures of people, the humor of humanity amuses and excites your curiosity so you are naturally primed towards exploring and excavating what most shy from.
You are unable to be held in place or controlled by anyone, for you are in a powerful relationship with the mysteries and see past the limits of others trying to impose their manipulations. You are sensorially cracked open and awed by the strange array of feelings and experiences that living has in store for us all.
You are awake and attuned to the chaotic wonder of life. You never impose your idea of what things should be like and instead embrace whatever palette is presented to you so that you may make the most of it. This is freedom, this is a powerful container for housing the sublime. The world is your Carnivale, and you are somehow the ringleader and all the performers bound into one.
Everyone, based on their energies, inclinations, awareness, passions, etc, has a unique expression of the Sacred Clown archetype, and no matter how square you may believe yourself to be you house these energies deep down somewhere within the wild labyrinths of your unexplored vastness.
Some people have clowns attuned to and aligned with particular aspects of the physical reality while others have clowns attuned and aligned with facets of the dimensional beyond, some people have clowns that are very surreal and unusually different, others have clowns that merely reflect and make a game out of the reflections.
The clowns are so individual to us and to what we choose to embody, they are this dynamic force within us that grows and evolves alongside our conscious expression. And just like the inner child, the shadow, the anima/animus, whatever else, we can either choose to nourish and nurture them or disown and repress them which directly correlates to the quality of life in its particular ‘domain’ that it rules over. If you feel averse to change, rigid in modality, bound by whatever idea of the progress you may have… you may have an off-kilter clown running amok within.
Life in itself is full of surprising twists and turns that should delight us and tickle our sensibilities. Part of liberating the Sacred Clown involves a deep attunement to the unconscious and the wellspring that flows from there, you begin to give away some of your conscious control and need to exact everything and you allow the wonders to flow through you unmediated. This does not mean you lose the will to act, in fact, it is very often the opposite, you gain a will that is transcendent in quality and untethered to linear methods and patterns.
You begin to live life on a grand scale instead of going from day to day. You understand the role of the phantom clown calls that pull you into strange, sometimes unnerving, and intimidating scenarios. You trust and honor that everything has its purpose, and that still, you have a conscious role to play alongside that. You do not submit your power to the divine jester and expect everything to fall into your lap with just a few funky twists and turns, you have to be willing to be decimated time and time again until you get to the place where you would like to be. If you are not satisfied with where you are, you do not -react from fears but you act from a willingness to surrender to the chaos, trusting in the deeper flow of it all.
I have an incredibly intimate relationship with this force and have encountered it very heavily throughout the whole of my life. When first engaging with what had been the scariest expression of it I had known thus far, surrendering the only life I had known up until that point and dive-bombing into the unknown world with only trust on my side. It was death and humor and sporadicity and being cracked open, drowning in overwhelming emotions and possibilities, but having a twistedly fun time along the way.
The experience of it is different for everybody though and it has many faces, it can be very scary … yet it can also be incredibly gentle and elevated in quality. It is a stream of energies that really represents pure freedom, beyond conditions. When you can awaken this within you, there is an untouchable quality to your nature. It is very invigorating, sometimes lonely, but always inspiring. It pushes you into this crazy kaleidoscope of your inner wonders and curiosities, and the transformations it brings are intense, reverberations of your divinity.
You can never command it though, it is not like self-directed ‘progress’ where you can dictate the quality of what turns out, it is evolution at its rawest; dirty, primal, driven by death and sex and cycles of pain and pleasure pushing you ever further into what you could never before fathom.
In order to navigate the seas of possibility we have to have an inner guidance system that is directly reflective of that chaotic, ever shifty, oceanic flux, this is where the clown comes in. It is a powerful force of enlivening empowerment that will take you where you never thought you could go. It does not see the world according to the stories it has spawned, but instead through immersion..listening for the sounds and sensations that call to it and its divine passions.
It is a part of the sacred web you hold within and holds a very special role in liberating your spirit within a sometimes dense and clunky world.
Now as you journey into special Carnivale events, always listen close for the clown that writhes within you and embrace its peculiar dances. Move into the chaos with splendor and grace, and trust, and you will find your most effervescent freedom in colors, tastes sounds so lurid and brilliant. It’s time to celebrate and release your wacky…
Em Hotep - Patrick Gaffiero