Risk is not knowing what you are doing, or so Warren Buffet said. So here is the truth that few will admit: Nobody knows what they are doing. Let’s examine what the entheogenic, the paranormal, the magical, the mystical, the spiritual experience is about:
Waking up to find that not only the world is not as it seems but you are not at all who you thought you were. Whoever you think you are is why you refuse risks. Risk-taking is self-destructive behavior, but also the only way of self-construction. This is another of the wonderful paradoxes which are unreasonable to the reasonable, who do not throw dice, who lead nice quiet normative, and uneventful lives; or perhaps the word owing too much, existences rather.
Of course, you cannot become, as you are. New levels of consciousness, of ways of perceiving - the old man must pass away before the new man is born. And there is a danger in that: This process of awakening dissolves the framework you currently perceive yourself and the world from. Where does that leave you?
I will be brutally honest. This will be the most terrifying thing you will ever experience. To leave tradition. To leave belief. To leave identity.
Why are there those among us that have always been driven to risk-taking? Colin Wilson writes of the Outsider seeing too much, thinking too deeply. Having no purpose, no goal, no direction. The world is bland, without flavor, color, life. What is it to live? Surely it is not this.
So I started seeing and communicating with entities at a very young age... I physically danced with an alien presence only present in my head, or so I thought. I saw strange hieroglyphs upon the walls. I had such intensity of thought bearing down on my head I thought I could bear it no further. This was the first true jump into the darkness. At 21 years old I was devastated by the loss of my daughter.., I was so desolate I believed conjuring demons was a good idea. It turned out to be just so, but I bit off entirely more than I could chew in an eternity.
As I turn 52, I have swum in the darkest abyss that the Occult world has to offer... Here's a deep dark secret. I have no idea what I'm doing. But it's A-OK because those among us who think they know what they are doing know even less what they are doing than I. I do know this though. Taking risks is the only way to get out of what you are stuck in. Some of us are happy with imprisonment and call it security, comfort, stability. Some people lead a safe life.
They are not satisfied with life and I know, as do they, their potential could have been much greater. Perhaps this shadow is what drives me from risk to risk. Approaching middle age, it no longer takes tremendous jumps into the darkness, the abyss, been there done that, came out the other side, still smiling… Now it takes grave determination. There must be more than this. How do I achieve it?
Here are the risks that must be made at this late hour. Quieten the voice of the mind, Listen to the quiet, Trust the quiet, Dream dreams, Listen to the dreams, Trust the dreams, Have faith that the Universe is friendly, Pay attention to synchronization, let it guide you, Fear no man nor spirit, human or inhuman. They have place and purpose, Find your purpose, the True Will.
Put everything at risk to accomplish this. One last word, these things will require incredible discipline. Remember this “To whom much is given, much will be required.” -Luke 12:48
LVX - Patrick Gaffiero