So, we are born here and into the family, we pertain to. The energies that created us, the vibrations of our family, flow into us, they begin to shape our lives from birth. They stay with us and sometimes they consume us. They will shape the destiny of our lives and sometimes to change where we are going, we have to start by changing where we are from.
Growth requires the darkest of shadow work, I love shadow work, but I also despise it. I love what will come of it, but I hate where it takes me. When I go to these places, in the depth of my subconscious mind, it is to unlock what needs to be released. At times it has remained a necessity to return to the Abyss.
There are times when family members can have an adverse effect on us and slow damage can be imprinted. Have you ever felt that you were not good enough, you were an embarrassment, that you had to change your behavior in order not to be judged by others… You had to not be who you were to not be an embarrassment.
How interesting how that compounds and leads to some making the decisions and choices they make in their lives. Moments like that shape and define you. They slowly condition you to comply and to move into a place that shapes so much.
This exploration is incredibly personal. You have to face the monstrous matriarch of your family and the consumption of your own self that came from it. You can be from a long line of monstrous matriarchs who had each consumed their young. The cycle of consuming and destroying each one and tearing them to shreds as it went.
You see, your definitions, your words, your truth, those are yours and when others come in and try to overwrite them with their truth, they cannot get upset when it contradicts what you say, you should never silence yourself because of this. If someone is going to remove themselves and be so offended by your words, your truth, then do you really want them in your life? Differences make the world go around and debate helps all learn new things…. So, why do you stop yourself at times? why do you limit your own speech?
Take that chance, step outside of where you are comfortable, and know that your path is not only what you know, but you need to learn new things, you need to embrace the unknown. Yes, it will be hazy, it will be unclear and you will be tested, you will have to do things that you have never done before, things that go against that same nature that you have inherited.
You will know it, and yes, you will feel fear, you will be unsure, you will feel the fog of the unknown. Let go of clarity, let go of having to know exactly what will happen, your life is too predictable, to get what you want you to have then let this go and embrace unpredictability.
Em Hotep - Patrick Gaffiero